I grabbed a snapshot of my first three twitters or tweets as people are calling them. My first and oldest tweet is at the bottom.

Look at the dates between my second tweet and my third tweet. Now that's commitment to a joke. I wanted to tweet several times before that but resisted. Then I forgot about twitter, then I wanted tweet again. I almost forgot to post again on the same day. Now I'll be using it all the time.

Tags: Twitter

Yesterday Karen and I were watching the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother. During the "The Bracket" episode "Anna" who thought Barney was Ted Mosby said she had created the website http://tedmosbyisajerk.com/. I immediately paused my TiVo, Karen gave me the look because she knew I was going to look it up and see if it was real (they rarely are). To my surprise the site was real and had a couple of pages including the letter Barney left for Anna and he forgot to sign it Ted Mosby.

The site was very funny. Karen and I got a huge laugh out of it. So last night I decided to send an email to the person who registered the site and tell them how much we enjoyed it.

Today at 4:28PM my iPhone rang and the display said "Blocked". I never get Blocked calls so I decided to see who it was. To my surprise is was Carl MacLaren one of the show's producers and the person the show's bar is named after "MacLaren's Bar". How awesome is that? He thanked me for my kind words and appreciated the fact that I went to the trouble to let them know I enjoyed the website. Then, and this is even funnier, because it's obvious to anyone who reads my email signature that I'm in IT, Carl MacLaren asked me for tech support. Now that's cool. Since I am very familiar with the question he was asking I was able to answer it quickly.

Carl MacLaren, I want to thank you for giving me a story that no one will ever believe because of what day it is.

Tags: Carl MacLaren, How I Met Your Mother

Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill em' right back.

Have you ever ask a woman for something and she said "It's in my purse?"

To me this means searching the house for her purse because you thought you knew where it was. Then looking for it in the regular drop zones.

Success, I've found the purse. But it's empty because she's changed purses again.

My wife uses Quicken for all of our business and personal finances. She will occasionally use a feature called "Scan for Bills" where the software will look through all of our accounts and try to determine if there are any payments made which occur frequently enough to consider a regular bill. When doing a search for that today, she noticed that my favorite local coffee shop, Coffee Crossing, came up as one of the suggestions for a regular weekly bill.

One large blended caramel latte, skin milk, no whip cream.

What can I say, it's that good, you should try it.

Tags: Coffee, Coffee Crossing

I caught my daughter (Allyson) singing what she was doing. Very Nice

Last night after finishing some shopping I was leaving Target. I was behind two middle age ladies and we were walking past cars in the lot.

As we walked a car near the ladies honked it's horn and startled one of the ladies. It's was hard to tell where the honk came from.

As I passed the same car the horn honked again, the ladies turned around to see why someone was honking there horn.

About that time were all started laughing, she pointed into a van I was standing in front of.

There was a large brown labrador retriever sitting in the drivers seat and every time someone would walk in front of the van he would honk the horn.

I watched him honk the horn at two other couples.

Very funny.

I think it's extremely funny in more ways than one. SAV A STEP being one of the few remaining quick marts to allow smoking.

Now you can get your smokes and a ride to your final resting place.

I went to Popeye's today for lunch with my friend Shawn. He didn't order a meal just a couple individual items.

So when his order was ready the guy at the register brought his order to counter and yelled through the store "Two Spicy Breasts".

LOL, it was pretty damn funny.

I keep going through my house yelling (with an Italian accent for some reason) "Two Spicy Breasts".

Tags: Popeye's

My wife and girls have been gone for the weekend and noticed something that I never really gave much thought.

When I'm alone, I sing a lot and talk to myself. And it's not even songs that I sing, it's whatever I'm doing at the time.

For example on the way down stairs I'm singing "I like going down the stairs, yes I do, yes I do. I like getting to the bottom."

If someone had pointed it out before today I would have said "No I don't" right before saying "Yes, yes I do, yes I do".

Do you know someone with A.D.D.? What can you do to help?

Usually the only thing you can do to help is inform them of their problem. Send them an email say hey "You forgot to attach the document to the email again".

Attachment Deficit Disorder, they don't know if you don't tell them.

This morning I needed something from the mall and arrived about 30 minutes before the stores opened. As I pulled in I saw an older gentleman (with Einstein hair) get out of his car which was parked in a handicapped space. I parked and made it to the door almost the same time he did. The mall opens early for mall walkers so I went on in and sat at table and waited for the stores to open.

What's funny is that the old man that parked in the handicapped space walked around the mall for at least the half hour I waited for the stores to open. If that man is a mall walker then why does he need a handicapped space?

I thinks funny when regular people spend 5 minutes trying to find the closest possible parking space to a store or mall, then proceed to walk around that store for hours. If you're going to be walking for hours anyway why can't they just park further away as soon as they get there?

My daughter just left for the American Girl store in Chicago with my wife her friend and daughter. They're going to be there over night and do stuff, my daughter is extremely excited.

When they were all in the car only seconds from leaving my daughter said "Momma, can I bring my computer?" I just started laughing. I'm so proud.

My daughter is asleep and my wife just went to bed. I decide to get me a fresh soda and some chips before playing video games (Fable).

I got my bag of chips and soda and head to the Family room. I start my game up and remove the chip clip from the bag and set open so I can grab a little bit a time. I'm sitting in the middle of the couch with the chips to my right.

I've been playing for about ten minutes and the game is loading a level, I decide to grab me a small amount of chips while I'm waiting as I had been doing for the past ten minutes. Reach in bag, grab chips, insert into mouth normally this would not be a problem.

But when I chewed the first bite all was normal, the second bite however was one of those times in your life when you have a multiple thoughts, ideas or fears all at the same time in roughly less than a tenth of a second.

As I bit down on the chips my teeth pressed against something that was obviously not a chip, but it was squishy, round and about the size of nickel. I stopped short of bursting or penetrating what ever this foreign object was.

At this exact moment I had many thoughts but the one that made me open my mouth and spit out all of it's contents onto the right side of the couch was the thought of rodent organs.

As I set there thinking "Did I get it all out" and looking at what was just spewed from my mouth I chuckle. Yes, I chuckle, why you ask, what lie on my couch between a mangle mess of chips is none other than one of my daughters gummy bears.

She had been eating gummy bears and chips the day before and must have dropped one in the bag.

What did I learn from this, don't eat after children.

Microsoft Chairman and Chief Software Architect Bill Gates recently talked about Microsoft's revamped digital media strategy with BusinessWeek Seattle Bureau Chief Jay Greene.

Q: Steve Jobs has said consumers aren't going to watch video on tiny screens. Is he wrong?

A: Yes. Ask kids in the back of a car on a two-hour trip, "Hey, would you like to have your videos there?" My kids would. I guess Steve's kids just listen to Bach and Mozart. But mine, they want to watch Finding Nemo. I don't know who made that, but it's really a neat movie.

http://yahoo.businessweek.com/technology/content/sep2004/tc2004092_2455.htm

Tags: Bill Gates

Saturday we decided to stop at my Mom and Dad's before going to Home Depot. We walked in and my Dad (Jack) was sitting at the table. I told Allyson to say her alphabet in Spanish.

I then went to the restroom, when I stepped out she had just finished and my Dad was talking about places he had been like Hong Kong, he asked Allyson if she'd ever been to Mexico or China.
She said no then immediately said that she'd been to Texas. I just stood there completely puzzled trying to remember taking her to Texas or any trip or vacation we've been on, you have to remember that she is only 7.

So my Dad said "You've been to Texas?" and Allyson said "Texas Roadhouse" and smiled, then we all laughed for a minute.

I was amazed, from a 7 year old this was a very intellectually misleading statement. She knew Texas was a place that people would visit and used Texas Roadhouse (which we do eat at a lot) to turn the conversation into a joke.

I'm so proud.

I took this IQ test online a couple months ago, does it mean anything, I don't know but it was interesting nonetheless.

Congratulations, Rob!
Your IQ score is 129

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Emode's Ultimate IQ test. Your IQ score is scientifically accurate.

During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We analyzed how you did on each of those questions which reveals how your brain uniquely works.

We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician.

This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Go here and take your own IQ test. Or here and view all of the available tests.

Tags: IQ Score

I'm a Republican.

I received this story in an email and don't remember who it came from.

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was for distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican which she expressed openly.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich & more welfare programs. In the middle of her heart-felt diatribe based upon the lectures she had from her far left professors at her school, he stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing in school.

She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That she had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. That she was taking a more difficult curriculum.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Mary." She replied, "Mary is barely getting by," she continued, "all she has is barely a 2.0 GPA" adding, "and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies." But to explain further she continued emotionally, "But Mary is so very popular on campus, college for her is a blast, she goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn't even show up for classes because she is too hung
over."

Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to her friend who only had a 2.0." He continued, That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter visibly shocked by the fathers suggestion angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked really hard for mine, I did without and Mary has done little or nothing, she played while I worked real hard!"

The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Tags: Republican

I've had this test image for a while and don't remember where I got it from, but here it is.



It's harder than you might have thought.

I've been watching this thing ever since Roy Disney left the Disney Co. It was a long meeting, and Disney's board did not do what most people wanted. They took away Eisner's Chairman title and then gave it to someone that received 25% no confidence vote.

Tags: Disney, Roy Disney, Michael Eisner

Sarah Chalke as Dr. Elliot Reid

"I'm just this big mountain of cuckoo who's about to erupt and spew molten crazy all over him, and he's going to die like this..."

Tags: Scrubs